Anxiety overload!!

This week has been brutal to say the least! I can't count how many meltdowns have happened in the last 4 days.
The last two weeks I've developed REALLY bad swelling in my legs and feet and some in my face. Since I'm being seen weekly now by both my high risk and regular OB They've been monitoring me, testing urine, blood pressure and all of it's come back fine. My High Risk asked me if I was having localized pain in any area of my legs and I have been having sharp pains in part of my right leg which cause immediate concern, he calls my OB and what started out as a regular visit turned into a 6 hour ordeal and me being sent to radiology for an ultrasound of my leg. Because I had a pulminary embolism after WLS and have a blood clotting disorder they needed to make sure there wasn't a clot. Came back clear and everything with LO was fine! This was last week.
I've been having more frequent contractions and when they checked me last Tues. I was 2cm, 50% effaced and thinning. This Monday they got more intense and I'm sitting here trying to keep track of them and determine if it's time or if they're just BH. As I'm doing this I look around and something just snaps, I FLIP out and am convinced that if it's happening I can't possibly bring my baby home to this dump(not really a dump but my warped mind saw it as such) and I began freaking out over EVERYTHING that needed to be done. Had to get the dog hair off the couch, wash the blankets, dishes, get the spots out of the carpet...yeah I went a little nuts! DH comes home 3 hours late, I had already made dinner (it was cold), cleaned the house and at this point was sitting on the couch between trying to time contractions, calm myself down from balling hysterically. He finally gets me to calm down and after a few hours the contractions weren't every 20 min anymore. Tuesday I had both appointments, my first one with the high risk went fine but he noticed my amniotic fluid is low so I have to have that checked again tomorrow. Then I go to my OB and my regular midwife was helping my Dr with a surgery so someone else saw me. I don't dislike her but I've only seen her once this pregnancy and she's not familiar with me and everything that's going on healthwise in my case. The contractions picked back up and she was a bit insensitive about me being a little on edge, being in pain and I took it personally and felt like I was imagining all this when she says "you're water hasn't broken, you're not in labor."
 I pointed out I noticed excess fluid/discharge and was still concerned about the swelling because at this point it hurts to walk because my legs and feet are huge. No change from last week, still 2cm, she tested for amniotic fluid and it was negative. She was alarmed at the fact that I seem to be gaining pretty rapidly(10+lbs) the last few weeks, but didn't go to much into it and passed it off as fluid retention.
The rest of Tuesday was just a BAD day and everyone and everything made me upset. I deal with anxiety issues already and have had some during this pregnancy but not on this level! Went to my therapist yesterday and he assured me it's normal and he's actually relieved I've handled things as well as I have considering my history up till this point.
I ended up being sent to L&D last night because LO wasn't moving like he should be and my head was pounding. The Midwife on call was my normal midwife and she filled them in on everything going on with me, ordered blood work and wanted them to make sure they got a certain # of fetal movements. I was a bit dehydrated but after a while he started moving like he needed to be. Mild pre eclampsia and my RBC was low. I go in the AM for another US to check amniotic levels again and they'll determine what to do from there. I keep hoping I'll go ahead and go into labor so I don't have to be induced but I feel selfish wanting him to just be here.
Don't get me wrong I'm SO beyond grateful to have made it to full term with all that's been going on and the fact that I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids...but at this point I can't pretend it's not overwhelmingly miserable! 
I feel like a wimp, if I'm having this hard of a time dealing with early labor what's active labor gonna do to me? I don't do pain well and I'm hypersensitive to it because of the pain issues I deal with, add the anxiety...yea I'm a LOT of fun right now! Thank God DH is so patient and not taking it personally, lol
Sorry for the novel, just wanted to update since I haven't in a while!

Hormone's suck! I understand and with everything else you've been dealing with, it's just making everything crazy it sounds. I would think from your symptoms that they'll be inducing you due to preeclampsia. If you're already dialated 2 cm and 50% effaced then you'll be in a good spot for induction. I hope you feel better soon and that your baby comes soon.

I see my high risk Dr. In the morning and he'll make the determination as to what needs to be done. They said the amout of protein was small but it'll be checked again tomorrow. My OB is letting my high risk Dr. Take the lead and they work well together to make sure baby and I are safe and healthy.

In less time than you think, you will be holding your LO and saying to yourself "Those last few weeks were nothing!"... As far as the labor pains, unfortunately they are a HELL of a lot worse than what you are feeling now, just learn to redirect that pain. Don't be afraid of an epideral if need be, those meds are there for a reason and this
I do not have a high pain tolerance, but I did 3 natural births. If you are determined you will work through it. My focus was, every time I had a contraction to imagine seeing the baby's face for the first time.

Thank you! Trying to keep my focus on him being here has helped me deal with the added pain throughout the pregnancy. Knowing there's a bigger reason for all of it and knowing he's worth it! An epidural is the plan. DH is great about keeping me calm which for me is vital because my anxiety feeds off the pain and then It gets to the point where I'm unable to get it under control so if I can keep it from going to that level I know I'll be ok!

hang in there you are looking at the finish line.  Who is your regular midwife?  Carol was mine and she was great.

 Sheridan is who I usually see. It's either her or Carol, I love them both!

I feel for you. I know how bad anxiety can be for some people. Especially in your state. It sounds like you have the home ready, so it won't be long now. I did that about two weeks before my daughter came. Nesting, isn't it? lol I had a little nick nack that I concentrated on during contractions. Maybe you should find something for LO and start focusing on that during rough times. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated.

I am sorry!!  the last few weeks blow for sure. Unfortunately, you are prob just having braxton hicks.  I just had Elliot and my water broke and I was in active labor for 6 hours and it friggin HURT, so when you're having real labor you will know for sure. i forgot how much it hurt.  but you will be just fine and holding your little guy before you know it, then you will forget all about the pain and decide to have another lol